We have been creating and developing Butoh Medea  since 2014. The show traveled many places, and this year is the 10th year of the show and finally we are finishing the developing period.
I just went to SUNY Potsdam to share this show with college students as part of an artist residency.
It was a wild ride. I felt that the final dress rehearsal was smooth; however, my designer/collaborator said I was all over the place during the final run.  I was having a nightmare in the actual show, but he said the actual performance was solid. After 10 years, and the 49th public performance (100 + run through), I am still discovering, and "surviving in a moment". It has never gotten easy. Every time, I challenge myself physically, energetically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am trying to ride the rough wave; the wave which the audience, the tech team and I are creating a show in the moment. I cannot rehearse that. It is chemistry in the moments in our lives. 
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 Live performance is a ritual. Theatre is sacred.