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Vol. 117 Ending is Beginning

5/31/2025

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ENDING IS BEGINNING

When something is ending, I feel all sorts of feelings; 
nostalgia, fulfillment, relief, impatience, clinging, longing, caring
and more...

many colors of feelings
many sounds of feelings
many textures of feelings 

all mixing inside my body 

I am standing at the point
between past and future;

A present moment. 

I'm bearing all those past memories and feelings, and I'm facing the future-

unknown,
unlimited future. 

Those things do not vanish; 
They will live inside of me,
With me 
To the future.

A new adventure is waiting. 
​
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mom's roses, taken by Krzysztof Sienkiewicz 
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Vol. 116 DISTURBANCE by Megan Cattau

4/30/2025

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Interruption -
Unexpected breaks or intrusions disrupt flow or routine.
Resonance -
The ripple effects of disturbance. One event affects everything around it.
Disconnection-
Miscommunication, isolation, or broken connections.
Transformation -
Disturbance as a catalyst for change or metamorphosis.
Turbulence -
Chaos, conflict, or unsettling motion.
Equilibrium-
Disturbance can eventually lead to balance or harmony, or the process of finding stability after chaos.
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Vol. 115 Power of Storytelling

3/31/2025

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We tell a story.
A story is told.

by someone to someone
through people
through family
through generations

Music & song carry a story
Dance & movement carry a story
Paintings & sculptures carry a story
Words carry a story

In a large theater, a tiny theatre,
a street, a park, a party,
a living room, dining room, a bedroom,
and in our dreams...
​

We carry a story, and share a story.
A story is shared.
A seed of inspiration.
An inspiration to act.
To tell a story to others. 
To share a story with others. 

We tell a story. 
A story is told.
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-Yokko, March 10, 2025
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Vol. 114 気魂/KI-KON: wise, Strong and Courageous Sprit

3/9/2025

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It is the energy of a soul.

It is a fundamental emotional and
activating principle determining one's character. 
like motivation, commitment, and engagement... 

I want to be wise, sharp, and thoughtful.
I want to be strong, tough, and resilient.
I want to be courageous, brave, and fearless.

I will face my fear, insecurity, and darkness.
will accept an uncomfortable truth,
figure out what is the right path to take,
and find wisdom out of it. 

I will face challenges and go through those moments in my life resiliently. 

I will take a risk and be open to unlimited possibilities. 

Ki Kon with 
Wisdom 
Strength 
Courage 

and 

Honesty, Passion & Curiosity 

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vol. 113Ku-Giri/区切りclosing 2024; opening 2025

1/30/2025

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There is a Japanese word, Ku-Giri,
which means a moment
between closure and starting something.

It could be used for time, season, daily tasks, literature, theatre, music... and life. 
​
​
It is a mark of ending. 
It is a turning point. 
It is a break moment of between two things. 
​
​Looking back at the year of 2024,
I am recalling a moment of: 

joy & sad
challenging & blessing 
peaceful & chaotic,
moments I want to let go of, 
moments I want to cherish, 
and all those moments became memories.

Thousands and millions of memories,
like stars in the sky.

And those memories have created who I am today. 

And now, 
Facing 2025, I am feeling all sorts of feelings. 

All I can do is...

breathing. 

Breathing in this moment
Living in this moment
and,  
let myself to be open to unlimited possibilities, 
and, 
taking an action to achieve what I supposed to do.

Ending leads to beginning.

New Year
New Encounter
New Opportunity
New Moment 
and, 
New Breath 
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vol. 112 Vata (Air/Wind & Space) into Kapha (Water and Earth) Season

12/31/2024

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I have seen that the trees are losing their leaves; 
The leaves are blown by the wind,
Flying into the sky 
And going down onto the ground 

The air gets drier and drier; 
the temperature has been finally settled
to be colder, and not hotter. 

things keep changing
everywhere and anywhere.

We put more clothes on,
layer by layer. 
Our bellies crave a warm soup
with roots veggies and proteins. 
Our skins need oils and creams for hydration.  

Listening to Nature outside and inside of us,
It tells us what we need to keep our balances.  

Every day, daytime is shortening and night time is lengthening. 
When we see our breath visible in the air, 
Winter is coming in the corner. 
The time of incubating. 
The time of cultivating.
It is the time to slow down and rest
Till the wind disturbs us into the next cycle. 
​
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VOL. 111 PASSING (monologue from The Ume Group's Passing)

11/30/2024

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Time is passing, and I cannot do anything about it.
like sand passing through my fingers.
Water flows in a river,
Clouds floats in the sky,
Leaves fall on the ground.
Things keep changing, and I cannot stop them. 

I was so aware of this while I was taking care of my mom who was passing.
 Every minute, every second, every breath was precious to me.

Cooking for her, eating meals together,
and listening to her fearless stories before her marriage.
We laughed a lot.
She was the funniest human being I have ever met. 

Walking together, watching her baby pink roses in front of the house. 
Taking bath together, and there,
I heard secret stories between mom and papa, which no one knows about. 

Assisting her to change clothes, assisting her to eat food,
And assisting her toilet business. 
You know, wiping her butt.
And we laughed.
Because she wiped my butt when I was a baby. 
Switching roles. 

Watching her sleep peacefully at night.
Holding each other,
And just be. 
That was enough for me. 
And I was so aware that this moment would pass too.
And only I could do was
To remember this moment- 
Like carving it in my heart. 


Time is ephemeral.
And I learned.
I learned the word, "ephemeral"
I experienced it. 
I am experiencing it now. 

 I want to freeze the time. 
But I can't. 
I just want to BE in this moment- forever.
But I know
That is not happening.
I know
I know
I know
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In the production, I used the recording voice of my mom speaking how genius (lol) she was when she was 14, who created cross gender production, and she played male hero/bad boy fights for justice. She produced, directed, fight-choreographed. When I asked her about the production on the phone, she cited the monologue which she did like 60 years ago. It was 3 years ago- before her illness took her ability to speak to entertain without coughing.
I used her voice as my solo dance music, and I danced about Time during the Ume Group's Passing. 
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vol.110 HI-GAN RITUAL:Fall equinox season ritual

11/1/2024

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Connecting with our ancestors and learning wisdoms from them
to have balance in our living lives. 

Twice a year, when the day time and night time become equal in length,
the ancient Japanese people thought we could be closer to the ancestors and loved ones who went to that side / Hi-Gan. And so, we visit cemeteries and temples to connect to our ancestors, pray and chant for them, and hold some rituals and ceremonies. 

I feel like...  
there is a river,
And there is that side and this side.
Twice a year, we can cross the river
to meet them, re-connect
and at the same time,
we face some truth in our living life which
our ancestors and loves ones will show us. 

We may have emotional disturbances (BonNoh) in our every day life, 
 which may cause pain and suffering,
but facing the BonNoh is the first step to gaining wisdom. In this ritual, we may see our shadows, but the shadow is the key to the path of wisdom. 

And I feel like- the ancestors and loved ones will guide us, protect us like a guardian angel. Layers of large wings to hold us. 
At least I feel like that about my mother who passed away, and I feel she is with me to teach me about life. ​
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Higan Flower in Japan. photo by Yokko
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Vol.109 ShiraHimeRyu: a tale of a White Lady Dragon

9/29/2024

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The cursed soul who has carried on a sin from a previous life
is on the bottom of the lake in a dark forest.  

Warm, heavy, slow wind moves the surface of the lake. 
 The sound of water and tree branches and leaves

The creature on the bottom of the lake is
Slowly coming up to the surface of the water.
the moment when the heavy water is lifted up
 The moon light appears
Between thick rain clouds in the dark sky

The horns of the buck,  The nails of Eagle,
Eye of Ogre, Alligator mouth, long torso with snake skin. 

As this creature is quietly creeping toward the edge of the lake,
it is transforming into a human form of woman. 

Driven by desires which have never been fulfilled
 
Where will this cursed soul go?
Will the curse ever been cleansed? ​
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Vol. 108 What is the past as it Should be?

9/5/2024

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I walk. alone. among many others.
walk forward. to the future.

I saw someone who looked like me and nothing like me. walking toward me.
When she was closer, I recognized that she was myself who did not get the illness at age of  19.

She saw me as well as I saw her.
She held hand of a little girl who looked like exactly of her. I saw them.They stopped walking and looked at me. but I kept walking. looking at forward.
​The past that I thought I should be is now behind. 

The wind moves me. the soil moves me.
the water moves me, and the heat moves me.
​All the elements in the universe allow us to breathe --

to live. 

the sun is setting to call out the day.
the stars and moon shine in the sky.
We lift our hearts up. 

The warm shining lights poring all over our bodies, 
Blossoming flowers out of our bodies, 
Delivering the flowers into the world 

The past may shadow us. But we live with them.
In this moment, I let go everything I have; I surrender.  
I wish to be a vessel of the Universe,
to be in service to take an action of the will. 

I vow to transform whatever the life has given me into a flower, and share it with others.

​many others who I encounter. 
​
Picture
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Photo by Yoshiko Usami
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    RGS Blog: KaYuGen
    ​/華遊幻/花幽玄

    Author/Editor/Curator Yokko

    Actor, Movement & Butoh artist, Solo-Performer

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