連翹奏/RenGyoSoh - Blog

vol. 112 Vata (Air/Wind & Space) into Kapha (Water and Earth) Season

12/31/2024

I have seen that the trees are losing their leaves;
The leaves are blown by the wind,
Flying into the sky
And going down onto the ground

The air gets drier and drier;
the temperature has been finally settled
to be colder, and not hotter.

things keep changing
everywhere and anywhere.

We put more clothes on,
layer by layer.
Our bellies crave a warm soup
with roots veggies and proteins.
Our skins need oils and creams for hydration.

Listening to Nature outside and inside of us,
It tells us what we need to keep our balances.

Every day, daytime is shortening and night time is lengthening.
When we see our breath visible in the air,
Winter is coming in the corner.
The time of incubating.
The time of cultivating.
It is the time to slow down and rest
Till the wind disturbs us into the next cycle.

VOL. 111 PASSING (monologue from The Ume Group's Passing)

11/30/2024

Time is passing, and I cannot do anything about it.
like sand passing through my fingers.
Water flows in a river,
Clouds floats in the sky,
Leaves fall on the ground.
Things keep changing, and I cannot stop them.

I was so aware of this while I was taking care of my mom who was passing.
Every minute, every second, every breath was precious to me.

Cooking for her, eating meals together,
and listening to her fearless stories before her marriage.
We laughed a lot.
She was the funniest human being I have ever met.

Walking together, watching her baby pink roses in front of the house.
Taking bath together, and there,
I heard secret stories between mom and papa, which no one knows about.

Assisting her to change clothes, assisting her to eat food,
And assisting her toilet business.
You know, wiping her butt.
And we laughed.
Because she wiped my butt when I was a baby.
Switching roles.

Watching her sleep peacefully at night.
Holding each other,
And just be.
That was enough for me.
And I was so aware that this moment would pass too.
And only I could do was
To remember this moment-
Like carving it in my heart.

Time is ephemeral.
And I learned.
I learned the word, "ephemeral"
I experienced it.
I am experiencing it now.

I want to freeze the time.
But I can't.
I just want to BE in this moment- forever.
But I know
That is not happening.
I know
I know
I know

In the production, I used the recording voice of my mom speaking how genius (lol) she was when she was 14, who created cross gender production, and she played male hero/bad boy fights for justice. She produced, directed, fight-choreographed. When I asked her about the production on the phone, she cited the monologue which she did like 60 years ago. It was 3 years ago- before her illness took her ability to speak to entertain without coughing.
I used her voice as my solo dance music, and I danced about Time during the Ume Group's Passing.

vol.110 HI-GAN RITUAL:Fall equinox season ritual

11/1/2024

Connecting with our ancestors and learning wisdoms from them
to have balance in our living lives.

Twice a year, when the day time and night time become equal in length,
the ancient Japanese people thought we could be closer to the ancestors and loved ones who went to that side / Hi-Gan. And so, we visit cemeteries and temples to connect to our ancestors, pray and chant for them, and hold some rituals and ceremonies.

I feel like...
there is a river,
And there is that side and this side.
Twice a year, we can cross the river
to meet them, re-connect
and at the same time,
we face some truth in our living life which
our ancestors and loves ones will show us.

We may have emotional disturbances (BonNoh) in our every day life,
which may cause pain and suffering,
but facing the BonNoh is the first step to gaining wisdom. In this ritual, we may see our shadows, but the shadow is the key to the path of wisdom.

And I feel like- the ancestors and loved ones will guide us, protect us like a guardian angel. Layers of large wings to hold us.
At least I feel like that about my mother who passed away, and I feel she is with me to teach me about life.

Higan Flower in Japan. photo by Yokko

Vol.109 ShiraHimeRyu: a tale of a White Lady Dragon

9/29/2024

The cursed soul who has carried on a sin from a previous life
is on the bottom of the lake in a dark forest.

Warm, heavy, slow wind moves the surface of the lake.
The sound of water and tree branches and leaves

The creature on the bottom of the lake is
Slowly coming up to the surface of the water.
the moment when the heavy water is lifted up
The moon light appears
Between thick rain clouds in the dark sky

The horns of the buck, The nails of Eagle,
Eye of Ogre, Alligator mouth, long torso with snake skin.

As this creature is quietly creeping toward the edge of the lake,
it is transforming into a human form of woman.

Driven by desires which have never been fulfilled

Where will this cursed soul go?
Will the curse ever been cleansed?

Vol. 108 What is the past as it Should be?

9/5/2024

I walk. alone. among many others.
walk forward. to the future.

I saw someone who looked like me and nothing like me. walking toward me.
When she was closer, I recognized that she was myself who did not get the illness at age of 19.

She saw me as well as I saw her.
She held hand of a little girl who looked like exactly of her. I saw them.They stopped walking and looked at me. but I kept walking. looking at forward.
The past that I thought I should be is now behind.

The wind moves me. the soil moves me.
the water moves me, and the heat moves me.
All the elements in the universe allow us to breathe --

to live.

the sun is setting to call out the day.
the stars and moon shine in the sky.
We lift our hearts up.

The warm shining lights poring all over our bodies,
Blossoming flowers out of our bodies,
Delivering the flowers into the world

The past may shadow us. But we live with them.
In this moment, I let go everything I have; I surrender.
I wish to be a vessel of the Universe,
to be in service to take an action of the will.

I vow to transform whatever the life has given me into a flower, and share it with others.

many others who I encounter.

Photo by Yoshiko Usami

Vol.107 "Even if the river is shallow, cross it deeply."

8/11/2024

"Even if the river is shallow, cross it deeply."

While I have been in Japan, I received this proverb.

Even if the river is shallow, if we don't pay attention, we might get tripped, and so, we should be careful.

"Sincerity" is the word
which came to me while I was reading this proverb.

Sometimes we rush things, take things lightly, and act casually without deep thoughts. Even when I want to finish things quickly, doing multi-tasks, and being busy, I should take small matters sincerely.

I want to face things sincerely, breathe in a moment, and take action with full of my heart.

This is my summer manifestation.

Vol.106 Art of Love

7/4/2024

Ongoing quest of what love is...
Not what love should be
nor should it look like, but
what love is to me.

Love is breathing, and not suffocating.
Love is caring and not hurting.
Love is compassion, not comparison.
Love brings joy; Joy finds love.

Maybe it's not someone or something
that makes me happy,
but rather something or someone
that inspires me to open my heart to life.
Love is life; Life is love.
Love springs forth in a moment
when they make me smile with only a glance.
Seeing is being seen,
it's an act of affection.
Pure joy springs forth within us;
love expands and spreads around us and beyond.

If we all practice the art of love,
and apply it to our daily life,
maybe someday there will be peace in the world.

photo by Keelie Sheridan

Vol. 105 KUZU/屑: particle, dust and Failure

6/10/2024

We float between material and subtle bodies
on a daily basis.
Every day, every moment, and every breath.
Going through a day, a moment, a breath;
we are surviving

Where are we going?
To death?
To the light?
To fulfill a purpose in life?

We dance between internal & external turmoils;
disturbances.
We disturb and are disturbed
within and between.

A Kuzu/a piece has fallen off from the sky
like star-dust.
Tiny useless particles of the Universe
falling to the earth to do something;
to share, to serve, to offer,
the gifts of this transient life.

What action will we take in this given life?

Someday,
we will go back to our home,
the universe.

Photo by Erik Bergrin

Kuzu: it means a tiny piece in Japanese, trash, dust. As a slang, we use as "garbage of a society" or "failure from the society or failure of a humanity = asshole" Stardust=Hoshi Kuzu

KUZU at UNFIX NYC 2024
Photography by Krzysztof Sienkiewicz

vol.104 Sei-Mei/晴明: Sunny & Bright (4/4-19)

4/30/2024

Spring: vibrant and pure.
The spring has come.
The sun is brighter than before.
The day is longer than before.
Not yet, but it is there.
We feel the Spring is growing-
right around the corner.

Between sunny days
water- rain carries the transition of seasons.
dry and cold winter to moist and warm spring.
Trees and greens are ready
to share their own beauty.
The flower buds are expanding.
Each rain we have, we are closer to blooms.
The season of Sei-Mei: Sunny and Bright.

Vol. 103 Live Performance is a ritual

3/30/2024

We have been creating and developing Butoh Medea since 2014. The show traveled many places, and this year is the 10th year of the show and finally we are finishing the developing period.
I just went to SUNY Potsdam to share this show with college students as part of an artist residency.
It was a wild ride. I felt that the final dress rehearsal was smooth; however, my designer/collaborator said I was all over the place during the final run. I was having a nightmare in the actual show, but he said the actual performance was solid. After 10 years, and the 49th public performance (100 + run through), I am still discovering, and "surviving in a moment". It has never gotten easy. Every time, I challenge myself physically, energetically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am trying to ride the rough wave; the wave which the audience, the tech team and I are creating a show in the moment. I cannot rehearse that. It is chemistry in the moments in our lives.

Live performance is a ritual. Theatre is sacred.

Butoh Medea at SUNY Potsdam, March 1st, 2024